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15) They may have either a particularly charming personality or obvious ‘loner’ qualities, sometimes a combination of both. The charmers are socially appealing but often lack substance in their relationships. There’s no sense of genuine bonding at a heart level.
The lack of development of the capacity for intimacy results in emotional loneliness.

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14) Child molesters – or potential molesters – may have a desire for hobbies that seem more appropriate for a child than for an adult, like building miniature trains, collecting toys or whatever.

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13) Potential or active child molesters may exhibit behavior that seems too good to be true, perhaps being overly helpful.
The process of grooming a child to be abused is a process of gaining the trust of both the child and the caregivers. It's all about eliminating obstacles between the one about to be victimized and the perpetrator/predator. If that means being overly helpful, there's no job too big or no inconvenience too annoying if it will give the predator more trust, more acceptance or more opportunity.

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2) For some reason, child molesters (or those fantasizing about molesting) may seem to have disrespect for social boundaries.
There seems to be a disconnect between normal societal expectations of appropriate behavior - and the inappropriate liberties taken by those drawn to abusing children.
Just because someone doesn't fit the patterns of "normal" behavior doesn't mean they're abusing children. On the other hand, anything that seems like a warning light - could be.

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11) They may make reference to children in particularly exalted terms, such as “beautiful,” “adorable,” or other labels that are said in a way that seem excessive.

When healthy people comment on the appearance or attributes of children, it's normally said in a casual way; but when someone with an unhealthy agenda says the same words, there can be an uncomfortable sense of undercurrent, where it feels as though the assessment is too important to the person.

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10) People who either fantasize about molesting children or have actually begun abusive behaviors may appear disconnected from normal peers. Their thought processes are not in sync with those of healthy people and so they often disconnect from normal associations.

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9) There may be a continuation of inappropriate association with children despite concerns expressed by others.

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8) While pedophiles most often have failed marriages because of their sexual preference, they often stay in the marriage to mask their true intentions.
The mate becomes a “front” for a respectable life. While they may indicate to the spouse that they simply have no interest in sex, the reality may be quite the opposite.

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7) The person in question may have frequent changes of residence or jobs without much discussion about the reasons for the changes.

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6) Part of the "grooming" process many predators use to entrap children involves encouraging the child to develop feelings, ensnaring the young victim in a situation where the child feels that the abuse is legitimized by his or her feelings for the abuser.
This is a psychological process known as the “Stockholm Syndrome” where victims develop feelings of attachment to their captors in order to survive the situation. (As the victims mature, the affection for the abuser usually dwindles and the painful truth emerges.)

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5) He or she often uses structured access to children.

In order to groom a child and his or her parents for the planned abuse, many child molesters operate through legitimate connections to the child that will allow for the process of time the “grooming” takes. Teaching, bus driving, sports coaching, camp counseling and volunteering to help with children’s activities, all offer opportunities where trust allows the individual in question to be alone with children with no parental supervision.

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4) The person in question maintains few friendships in his or her own age bracket.

Because the perverted interests of a predator are so abhorrent to the general populace, there are few people with whom genuine, open friendships can be formed. He or she often appears to be a loner. Friendliness may be expressed more to children or teens who may give the respect naturally given to an adult, but so often lacking in the life of the person in question.

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3) Someone who could be a danger to children may show a preference for association with them instead of with his or her own peer group.

If someone has molested a child, there is usually a huge self-esteem deficit and straightforward interaction with adults is too challenging and too risky. If anything said were to tip anyone off, the facade of normalcy could crumble. It's a whole lot simpler to interact with children – and it provides opportunities for abuse.

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2) An emotionally dysfunctional adult may pay particular attention to a needy child.

Sexual abuse is not always about sexual issues. Power can be another motivator for violation of a child. An adult who feels powerless in his or her own life may prey on the powerlessness of a child to feel the power that eludes them. Whether power issues or sexual issues, a dysfunctional teen or adult is likely to see a strong child as unobtainable, but a needy child as a more likely candidate for abuse.

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1) If someone is a potential child molester, you may have a general feeling of discomfort in the presence of the person in question - maybe nothing you can quite put your finger on... but something's just not quite right.

In such a situation, the observer may feel silly about having suspicions and try to put them out of his or her mind. That's normal. But it's also a warning light to be watchful when children are involved.

The purpose behind Predator-Proof Your Family is sevenfold:

• To deter people who are fantasizing about molesting a child from acting on their fantasies

• To protect children from molestation through raising awareness on many levels

• To look at the new challenges of parenting in the 21st Century.

• To deepen the understanding of all levels of society affected by the molestation of a child

• To find healing for victims and families

• To encourage the kind of justice and community action that prevents predators from initial offending and re-offending.

• To demonstrate to all those who have been molested that we care very deeply about what you have endured and, in honour of you, are doing all we can to protect other children from sharing your experience.