Vigilance or Vigilantism?

Last Monday, a website was launched by a Christian group in Alberta whose purpose is to make public the names and addresses of people who have been convicted of sex crimes against children. Until now, of all the countries in the world, only the U.S. has had a public registry where any citizen can do a search for predators in their area and find the details on each one. Nowhere else has the information on offenders been put on official websites. While this new site is not an official Canadian website, it will have the same effect – even though the information may not be as complete.

In Canada, a national sex offender registry came into force in December 2004, requiring convicted offenders to register within 15 days after being released from prison. Offenders are required to reregister annually, and reregister within two weeks of changing their home address. Only accredited police agencies have access to the information through the national sex offender database, maintained by the Mounties.

The launching of this new, private site gives rise to several questions. Will a public registry ensure the safety of children? What is the downside? Will this really make for a better society?

I believe this site will cause more problems than it will solve, that children will actually be placed at higher risk and it will turn a certain element of society into a pack of vigilantes.

Don’t even think about labeling me as soft on predators. As someone who has had her family and marriage destroyed by two of them, I’m hardly a naive “do-gooder” who has been manipulated into feeling sorry for these people. Quite the contrary. But neither am I so blinded by revenge and hatred that I cannot see clearly and find the course of action which will most surely protect our little ones. Having said that, I absolutely believe that violent offenders and repeat offenders need to be locked up permanently. No question.

But what about the offenders who have been “scared straight” in prison or are so genuinely remorseful that they can be rehabilitated? The myth that offenders usually reoffend is just that - a myth. In my booklet, “Smart Justice,” I underline the dangers of a knee-jerk response to predators who, following release from prison, try to rebuild their lives and re-enter society. I did a ton of research in my writing and was concerned about the findings of some of the researchers and treatment providers who determined that the stress and instability following release can make offenders more likely to relapse. For example, a professor at Lynn University in Florida reported that psycho-social stresses like a lack of social support have been linked to repeat offenses among criminals.

I watched a documentary that followed the lives of several child molesters after their release from prison in the U.S. The vigilantism engendered by the public registry made it impossible for them to support themselves or their families, have relationships or re-start their lives in any way that could contribute to society. Some have formed horrible, scary communes from shacks in the woods where they live in exile from society. Is that what we want in Canada – communes of people united by the red letters on their chests? Depression and loss of hope can become precursers to reoffending, sometimes purposefully, because life on the outside is harder than in prison.

I’m not ready to risk the safety of any child who could become some predator’s ticket back into a place where it’s warm and they serve three squares a day.

We need to be smart - not impulsive. We need wisdom. We can’t afford the luxury of following our natural inclinations in responding to child molesters.

So what am I suggesting? The only thing that makes sense to me is permanent lockup for violent and repeat offenders and permanent electronic monitoring of those who have been released into the community. GPS offender tracking technology monitors offenders day and night, raising the offender’s level of responsibility for his or her own actions, which in turn protects the community.

The logic is that a sex offender is a suspect when any sexual crime is committed. Wearing an electronic bracelet would clear anyone who is under suspicion by providing proof positive of the person’s whereabouts. Conversely, it would also aid in apprehending the perpetrator.

When a crime occurs, the location of the offenders would be matched against a crime incident database to validate or rule out possible involvement by a particular offender. Any released offender who truly commits to a changed life should be happy to wear one – for his or her own security as well as that of anyone else.

Electronic monitoring can be used to ensure that an individual remains in a designated place, does not enter proscribed areas, or does not approach particular people (i.e. complainants, potential victims or co-offenders). A person can be continuously tracked without having their movements so restricted that they can’t work or conduct a productive life. An active real-time offender tracking system can alert either a victim or police if the offender enters certain restricted areas (i.e. a home, workplace or school).

If the rationale against permanent monitoring is based on the concept of freedom following the legally proscribed period of incarceration, how does a public registry fit that rationale? It eliminates freedom permanently.

Frankly, I believe that when a crime has been committed against a child, a perpetrator signs away his or her right to freedom for life - so freedom isn’t my issue. My issue is with using wisdom in how we legislate the restrictions.

Will a public registry really make for a better society? I don’t think so. Judging from my research, it won’t make our kids safer and it will encourage licence for a mindless pack-mentality. Justice needs to be smart. Justice needs to get the job of protection for our kids done right. Justice needs to foster effective vigilance - not vigilantism.
© Diane Roblin-Lee - Apr. 29/12

April is Child Abuse Awareness Month in the U.S.

“My child will never be molested. Our friends and family are all nice people who would never do such a thing.”

Really. I used to think that, too. Sadly, we’re no longer living in a Beaver Cleaver world.

While “Child Abuse Awareness” month is October in Canada, it’s April in the U.S. The hope is that focusing on awareness for one month will lead people to be more aware throughout every day of the year.

The following Canadian statistics, while impossible to rely upon because of lack of reporting and false reporting, are the most recent and best reflection we have of the overall prevalence of the sexual abuse of children in Canada.

* 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys experience an unwanted sexual act.
Source: Child Sexual Abuse (The Canadian Badgley Royal Commission, Report on Sexual Offenses Against Children and Youths), 1984. (pg. 175)
* 4 out of 5 incidents of sexual abuse will occur before the age of 18.
Source: Child Sexual Abuse (The Canadian Badgley Royal Commission, Report on Sexual Offenses Against Children and Youths), 1984. (pg. 175).
* 95 % of child sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator.
Source: Child Sexual Abuse (The Canadian Badgley Royal Commission, Report on Sexual Offenses Against Children and Youths), 1984. (pg. 215-218).
* Children and youth under 18 years of age are at greatest risk of being sexually assaulted by someone they know.
Source: Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2007. Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. Catalogue No. 85-224-XIE, ISSN 1480-7165. Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. 2007. (pg 6, 21).
* While children and youth under the age of 18 represent only one-fifth of the population, (21%) they were victims in 61% of all sexual offenses reported to police in 2002. (A total of 8,800 sexual assaults against children and youth were reported to police, 2,863 of which were sexual assaults against children and youth by family members.)
Source: Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics – Statistics Canada Catalogue No. 85-002-XIE, Vol. 23. no. 6. Released July 2003. (pg. 7, 34)
* In 2005, the rate of sexual assault against children and youth was over five times higher than for adults (206 children and youth victims compared to 39 adult victims for every 100,000 people.)
Source: Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2007. Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. Catalogue No. 85-224-XIE, ISSN 1480 -7165. Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. 2007. (pg. 20)
* In 2005, girls under 18 years experienced rates of sexual assault that were almost four times higher than their male counterparts. (For every 100, 000 young females there were 320 victims of sexual assault, compared to a rate of 86 male victims for every 100, 000 young males.)
Source: Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2007. Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. Catalogue No. 85-224-XIE, ISSN 1480-7165. Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. 2007. (pg. 21).
* Sexual assault against children by family members was more then three times higher for female victims than for male victims (108 compared with 32 incidents per 100, 000 population). (Rates of sexual assault are higher for female victims than for male victims regardless of the relationship to the accused.)
Source: Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2007. Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. Catalogue No. 85-224-XIE, ISSN 1480-7165. Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. 2007. (pg. 22).
* 54% of girls under 21 have experienced sexual abuse; (22% of these female victims reported two or more sexual offenses.)
* 31% of boys under 21 have experienced sexual abuse; (7% of these male victims reported two or more sexual offenses.)
Source: Child Sexual Abuse (The Canadian Badgley Royal Commission, Report on Sexual Offenses Against Children and Youths), 1984. (pg 180).
* 60% of all reported sexual assaults are against children.
Source: Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. (2001). Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile 2001. Catalogue no. 85-224-XIE. Ottawa: Government of Canada (pg. 13)
* 30-40% of sexual assault victims are abused by a family member.
Non-parental relatives – 35%
Friends and Peers – 15%
Stepfathers – 13%
Biological Fathers – 9%
Other Acquaintances – 9%
Boyfriend/Girlfriend of Biological Parent – 5%
Biological Mother – 5%
Source: Canadian Incidence Study (CIS) of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect – 2003: Major Findings Minister of Public Works and Government Services Canada. 2005. (pg.52)
* Very few cases (2%) of substantiated sexual abuse involve a stranger.
Source: Canadian Incidence Study (CIS) of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect – 2003: Major Findings Minister of Public Works and Government Services Canada. 2005. (pg.52)
* Child and youth victims who were sexually assaulted by family members were on average 9 years old compared to 12 years old for victims of non-family members.
Source: Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. (2002). Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile 2002. Catalogue no. 85-224-XIE. Ottawa: Government of Canada (pg. 35).
* 64% of sexual offenses reported to police took place in a residence
26% took place in public and open areas, and
11% took place in commercial places.Source: Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics – Statistics Canada Catalogue No. 85-002-XIE, Vol. 23. no. 6. Released July 2003 (pg. 9)
* Boys 4-7 years of age were 3 times more often the victims of sexual abuse than boys of other ages.
* Girls aged 4-7 and 12-17 were twice as likely to be victims of sexual abuse as girls aged 0-3 and 8-11.
Source: The Juristat presents Child Maltreatment in Canada – Canadian Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect. Authors: Nico Trocmé and David Wolfe. Ottawa, Ontario: Minister of Public Works and Government Services Canada, 2001. (pg. 24)

The preceding information was assembled with thanks by Little Warriors, a national charitable organization, based in Canada, focusing on the education and prevention of child sexual abuse. Little Warriors also provides information about the prevalence and frequency of child sexual abuse and information about healing and support resources.

Child Molester or Pedophile?

It can be helpful to know that child molesters are not necessarily pedophiles and pedophiles are not necessarily child molesters. Pedophilia is a psychological disorder defined by a distinct sexual preference for pre-pubescent children. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 111-R), published by the American Psychological Association, gives the following definition of pedophilia:

“Recurrent, intense, sexual urges and sexual arousing fantasies of at least six months duration involving sexual activity with a pre-pubescent child.”

Thus, an individual can be a pedophile without actually engaging in a sexual act. Simply having fantasies about sexual activity with a child over a period of at least six months will qualify. Many pedophiles never engage in actual criminal activity. They just stay at home and think about it. They often have large collections of child pornography or child erotica. Staying close to children is high on their list of priorities. The most common type of pedophile is the immature individual who has never been very successful maintaining peer relationships. Those who lack social contact often spiral down deeper and deeper into a fantasy world.

Pedophiles who actually engage in child molestation become “child molesters.” They often use their collections of erotica and pornography to show to their victims as part of the grooming process of seduction. They think that when their victims see the photographs, their inhibitions will be lowered and they’ll be more inclined to accept sexual activity as something people do normally. Some use photographs and videos they have made of their victims to blackmail them into further sexual activity.

Child molesters, on the other hand, by definition engage in sexual acts with children, but they will generally go after older victims as well as children. Ninety-five percent of them are male. Only 10 percent are strangers to their victims. Fifty to 60 percent are family members. According to a Public Health Agency of Canada fact sheet, 25 percent of molesters are teenagers. The rule of thumb used by professionals is that child sexual abuse occurs when a person touches a child for sexual gratification and is four years older than the child. (Curious playmates of the same age are protected by the age issue.)

Because family members are often hidden from the criminal justice system, it’s difficult for researchers to get a handle on the true extent of the problem. They have been more successful in characterizing family friends and trusted adults outside of the family. These people usually don’t use violence on their victims. They “groom” them, or set them up for the molestation by gradually establishing bonds with the child. By the time the first touch happens, the child has been so conditioned that he or she hardly knows what’s happening.

Molesters victimize children for other motives as well as sexual gratification. Sometimes it’s just part of the mistreatment they direct toward people in general. Usually, they have low self-esteem and view children as less powerful objects on which to vent their anger or sexual frustrations. The main criteria for choosing a victim is availability. It could be anyone, anywhere, who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They can be strangers who forcefully attack children they don’t know or individuals or family known to the child who use the situation to their own advantage with no concern for the victim.

Those child molesters who prefer sex with children can have an astounding number of victims over a lifetime, if not caught. They choose particular victims and groom them for abuse through developing a relationship of trust, buying them gifts and honing in on their emotional weaknesses. According to U.S. Department of Justice statistics, in more than 90 percent of cases of child rape, the offender was well-known to the children or their parents. These are pedophiles who have carried their fantasies into reality. Some are brutal and physically cruel, while others are more gentle in their approaches. They manipulate relationships to the point of expressing their perversions.

©Diane Roblin-Lee, April, 2012

So What’s The Big Deal About Watching a Little Child Porn?

Get this. The mother of a 26-year-old man, caught with more than 1,200 images of child pornography on his computer (some of which he traded with others) is trying to get his 14-year sentence shortened. According to her, the fact that he has spina bifida and “could never be a threat to anyone, including a child, “should qualify him for early release.

Okay. Don’t get me started here. I need to wipe the froth from my mouth on this one.

What is this mother thinking and where was she when she had the opportunity to nurture fiber and integrity into the heart of her child? What part of not hurting the children featured in the images is she not getting? Does she not understand that when her son (who is arguably more diseased in his mind than in his body) watches child porn, he is participating in the abuse of that child? If there were no market for the product, there would be no product. The fact that this young man’s hands cannot physically touch the child through the computer screen does not prevent his eyes and brain from doing the job of molestation. People who watch child pornography are child molesters. They just molest with different parts of their bodies than do molesters who are in the actual presence of a child.

The problem is that child molesters don’t just fall out of the sky and appear in our lives; they are raised, often by nice people who would be horrified if they knew what their kids were into. While someone who becomes a child molester is responsible for his or her choices, it’s incumbent on every parent to be vigilant with what their kids are reading and finding on the internet. It’s not nice visiting your loved one in jail, wearing an orange jump-suit.

In the process of doing my research, it appeared that almost every case of child molestation was rooted in some form of pornography. It encourages an appetite for increasingly graphic images that has no bounds.

Michael Briére was a nice computer worker who never had any involvement with the police, until little Holly Jones walked by his house one day. Little did anyone know that he had been watching child pornography and fantasizing about molesting a real child. When he walked out his door that day, she was “just there” and the rest is tragedy.

Last month, the police arrested 60 men (including three teens) in Ontario and charged them with hundreds of child pornography offenses. These people came from all ages and walks of life - professionals, blue-collar workers - even a day-care worker. Many of them are probably asking, “Hey - what’s the big deal about watching a little child porn?” Some no doubt claim innocence on the grounds that they “didn’t touch any children.”

The subjects of the pornography, 22 little children, have all thankfully been rescued, but their childhoods have been stolen and their lives will never be the same. Their abilities to trust and have normal relationships will be affected for life.

Child pornography is not constructed from bricks and mortar, steel, plastic or fabric. Child pornography uses real children as its raw material - human children with needs, feelings, futures and dependence on adults to keep them safe. According to Karyn Kennedy, executive director at the Toronto-based Boost Child Abuse Prevention and Intervention, “One difficult aspect for victims is that many of the images will be irretrievable now that they’ve been shared online. I’ve heard victims that are 40, 50 years old talking about having to come to terms with knowing that somewhere somebody is looking at a picture of them.”

According to Det.-Sgt. Frank Goldschmidt of the Ontario Provincial Police, “In any of the Canadian crime trends this is probably one of the only crimes that is still on a fairly substantial increase.”

Thank God for the people in the trenches like Insp. Scott Naylor with the OPP’s child sexual exploitation unit who are out there doing all they can to protect our kids. “We’re constantly building software and changing software and manipulating software, because the people who are trading this are constantly moving from one method of training to another.”

They, and every parent with a child who has been abused, understand why watching “a little child porn” is a huge deal.

Two Years for a Lifetime

Two years for Graham James.
A lifetime for his victims.
Yesterday's sentence for James' abuse of Theo Fleury and Todd Holt left everyone shaking their heads in disbelief. How could any judge, with any comprehension of the magnitude of the effects of abuse on a victim and his or her family, determine that a two-year sentence (of which James will probably serve only 16 months) in any way brings justice to the situation.
If Graham James were a first-time offender, one might think that the judge might have had reason to give some credence to his words of remorse and repentance. But Graham James is no first-time offender. A previous conviction (for the abuse of Sheldon Kennedy and another victim) landed him in prison, serving 20 months for a three-and-a-half year sentence. What's his next sentence going to get him? Six months? Probation and a bit of community service with kids?
One of the most dominant characteristics of the character of an abuser is the ability to manipulate people and situations. Yesterday's judgment was a reflection of James' artful power of persuasion with the judge.
There is evidence that prison does its job with some first offenders. There are cases where predators have turned themselves around and gone on to live productive lives. However, a two-time offender needs to be put away where he can no longer threaten the safety of young people. If prison hasn't done its job the first time, it's unlikely that it will turn an offender around the second, third or fourth time. We have to keep our kids safe.
Hopefully, the just-passed omnibus crime bill, C-10, will make people who fantasize about molesting vulnerable kids think twice before daring to indulge their perversions.
Thank God for the architects and labourers of Bill C-10 and the officers in the trenches who strive, day after day, to protect and rescue victims of abuse. Thank God for the clear-headed politicians who made their voices count for the children of Canada.

The Secret

Predators depend on victims and their families keeping the dark secret to avoid further pain and heartbreak in the family. Keeping the secret does nothing but bring more pain - allowing the predator free rein on ruining lives. Revealing truth may be hard, but living in secrecy doesn't work. Dare to tell your story. Stop the destruction.

Daily Tip

Any of 19 foregoing warning signs of a predator need to be viewed within the context of an individual’s life. For instance, if someone enjoys playing with children in the company of other adults, that’s normal. If someone is a particularly helpful person but doesn’t seek out the company of children, that’s a wonderful thing. However, if combinations of the foregoing qualities are evident, there’s cause for concern and children need to be carefully watched around these people.

Daily Tip

19) Predators usually maintain an image of social acceptability, often taking leadership in children’s groups through which to gain the trust of parents and children alike. This is all part of the "grooming" process where victims are groomed to trust the molester. What appears to be friendly helpfulness is really part of a carefully choreographed agenda.

Daily Tip

18) If anyone expresses concerns about his or her behavior, a predator generally responds with denial and aggression, making the concerned individual feel like a fool. Nobody wants to feel like a fool, so without proof of wrongdoing, the concerned individual often returns to silence.
If someone's behavior is suspect or makes one uncomfortable, it needs to be questioned and, even if there is no proof of inappropriate or criminal behavior, children need to be protected from that person. If it's just a "feeling of discomfort," no fuss should be made in case the person is innocent. However, even without making a fuss, a parent or caregiver should take extra precautions to keep a child safe.

Daily Tip

17) Predators use playing with children at a peer level as a manipulative approach to intimacy; tickling, play fighting etc., to gain confidence and rapport and introduce the child to touching. As the child becomes desensitized to touch in appropriate places, the touch progresses to breasts and genitals.

Daily Tip

16) There may be interaction with young teens at a peer level, engaging in conversations about sex, crushes or whatever would not be normally of interest for an adult to discuss with a teen.

Daily Tip

15) They may have either a particularly charming personality or obvious ‘loner’ qualities, sometimes a combination of both. The charmers are socially appealing but often lack substance in their relationships. There’s no sense of genuine bonding at a heart level.
The lack of development of the capacity for intimacy results in emotional loneliness.

Daily Tip

14) Child molesters – or potential molesters – may have a desire for hobbies that seem more appropriate for a child than for an adult, like building miniature trains, collecting toys or whatever.

Daily Tip

13) Potential or active child molesters may exhibit behavior that seems too good to be true, perhaps being overly helpful.
The process of grooming a child to be abused is a process of gaining the trust of both the child and the caregivers. It's all about eliminating obstacles between the one about to be victimized and the perpetrator/predator. If that means being overly helpful, there's no job too big or no inconvenience too annoying if it will give the predator more trust, more acceptance or more opportunity.

Daily Tip

2) For some reason, child molesters (or those fantasizing about molesting) may seem to have disrespect for social boundaries.
There seems to be a disconnect between normal societal expectations of appropriate behavior - and the inappropriate liberties taken by those drawn to abusing children.
Just because someone doesn't fit the patterns of "normal" behavior doesn't mean they're abusing children. On the other hand, anything that seems like a warning light - could be.

डेली Tip

11) They may make reference to children in particularly exalted terms, such as “beautiful,” “adorable,” or other labels that are said in a way that seem excessive.

When healthy people comment on the appearance or attributes of children, it's normally said in a casual way; but when someone with an unhealthy agenda says the same words, there can be an uncomfortable sense of undercurrent, where it feels as though the assessment is too important to the person.

Daily Tip

10) People who either fantasize about molesting children or have actually begun abusive behaviors may appear disconnected from normal peers. Their thought processes are not in sync with those of healthy people and so they often disconnect from normal associations.

Daily Tip

9) There may be a continuation of inappropriate association with children despite concerns expressed by others.

Daily Tip

8) While pedophiles most often have failed marriages because of their sexual preference, they often stay in the marriage to mask their true intentions.
The mate becomes a “front” for a respectable life. While they may indicate to the spouse that they simply have no interest in sex, the reality may be quite the opposite.

Daily Tip

7) The person in question may have frequent changes of residence or jobs without much discussion about the reasons for the changes.

Daily Tip

6) Part of the "grooming" process many predators use to entrap children involves encouraging the child to develop feelings, ensnaring the young victim in a situation where the child feels that the abuse is legitimized by his or her feelings for the abuser.
This is a psychological process known as the “Stockholm Syndrome” where victims develop feelings of attachment to their captors in order to survive the situation. (As the victims mature, the affection for the abuser usually dwindles and the painful truth emerges.)

Daily Tip

5) He or she often uses structured access to children.

In order to groom a child and his or her parents for the planned abuse, many child molesters operate through legitimate connections to the child that will allow for the process of time the “grooming” takes. Teaching, bus driving, sports coaching, camp counseling and volunteering to help with children’s activities, all offer opportunities where trust allows the individual in question to be alone with children with no parental supervision.

Daily Tip

4) The person in question maintains few friendships in his or her own age bracket.

Because the perverted interests of a predator are so abhorrent to the general populace, there are few people with whom genuine, open friendships can be formed. He or she often appears to be a loner. Friendliness may be expressed more to children or teens who may give the respect naturally given to an adult, but so often lacking in the life of the person in question.

Daily Tip

3) Someone who could be a danger to children may show a preference for association with them instead of with his or her own peer group.

If someone has molested a child, there is usually a huge self-esteem deficit and straightforward interaction with adults is too challenging and too risky. If anything said were to tip anyone off, the facade of normalcy could crumble. It's a whole lot simpler to interact with children – and it provides opportunities for abuse.

Daily Tip

2) An emotionally dysfunctional adult may pay particular attention to a needy child.

Sexual abuse is not always about sexual issues. Power can be another motivator for violation of a child. An adult who feels powerless in his or her own life may prey on the powerlessness of a child to feel the power that eludes them. Whether power issues or sexual issues, a dysfunctional teen or adult is likely to see a strong child as unobtainable, but a needy child as a more likely candidate for abuse.

Daily Tip

1) If someone is a potential child molester, you may have a general feeling of discomfort in the presence of the person in question - maybe nothing you can quite put your finger on... but something's just not quite right.

In such a situation, the observer may feel silly about having suspicions and try to put them out of his or her mind. That's normal. But it's also a warning light to be watchful when children are involved.

The purpose behind Predator-Proof Your Family is sevenfold:

• To deter people who are fantasizing about molesting a child from acting on their fantasies

• To protect children from molestation through raising awareness on many levels

• To look at the new challenges of parenting in the 21st Century.

• To deepen the understanding of all levels of society affected by the molestation of a child

• To find healing for victims and families

• To encourage the kind of justice and community action that prevents predators from initial offending and re-offending.

• To demonstrate to all those who have been molested that we care very deeply about what you have endured and, in honour of you, are doing all we can to protect other children from sharing your experience.